Okay all you weirdos out there, we have a form for you to fill out to
 find out just how weird you actually are. So fill it out & send it!!!


1. What is your name? 

2. What is your email? 
3. Sex

Male
Female
Other
Please


4. Complete the series: 1; 3; 11; 123; _____

-77
1311123
69
90210


5. How many fingers am I holding up?

1
2
3
46
68


6. If you burned your hand cooking, the best thing to do would be:

Stop cooking
Eat out
Get pissed


7. Give me a moment please.

True
False


8. Okay.

Yes
No
Cardinal Richelieu


9. I’ve got a lovely bunch of:

Bananas
Coconuts
Flowers
Gingivitis


10. Bing tiddle tiddle bang?

Bing tiddle tiddle bing
Bing tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle tiddle
Bing tiddle tiddle bong
Bing Bang tiddle tiddle bong


11. If 100 monkeys were shut in a room full of typewriters, one would eventually:

eat a banana
steal a typewriter
become head of a studio
 get his skinny little chum-chum wedged painfully between the
keys


12. If the diameter of a circle is sixteen inches and the circle is intersected by line A in such a way
as to form an arc of eight inches between the two points of intersection A and B, and line B, which
intersects line A at an angle of 90 degrees, does NOT intersect the circle, then nobody really gives
a rat’s ass, do they?

Yes
No
A rat does


13. If God/dess is all-powerful, can s/he make a rock so big that s/he can not lift it?

Yes
No
There are some things in life we just don’t understand, my
son
Oh, shut up


14. How many dead people, including yourself, live in your house?

1
more than one, but less than five
5”>more than five, but don’t tell the police because I’ve run out of
food


15. When confronted by a rabid pit-bull, the best thing to do would be:

lean over to get a good look at his teeth
extend your stomach as a peace offering
climb up the nearest tree
render him helplessly confused by lying down and yelling “Look at
me! I’m a big slice of bacon!”


16. Have you ever met an Australian named Bruce?

Yes
No


17. Didn’t your mother ever warn you about playing with Australians?

Yes
Yes!!


18. If five Australians, named Bruce of course, went into a bar___
     The management wishes to apologize to you & all Australians (Bruces & otherwise) for the last
several questions. The writers of this form have been sacked & replaced w/ new writers. We regret
any offense these questions may have caused. We all know all Australians are not named Bruce... 
19. The meaning of life is:

Simple
meaningless
true
extra crispy
42


20. What is 8 times 7 minus 5?

7
Public Education
sorry, could you repeat the question?


21. What was the first letter of question 9?

B
B
Oh! I see you went to public school too!


22. How long do you cook a 3 minute egg?

180 seconds
3 minutes
1/20 hour
do it yourself, you lazy turd


23. What president is on a five dollar bill?

Lincoln
 With a public education, I’ll never have a job where I can earn
a five dollar bill
Could you repeat the question?
What’s a president?


24. Did you go to public school?

Yes
No
Could you repeat the question?


25. What was the answer to question 20?

I’m getting tired of this
B
You flunked out of public school, didn’t you?


26. Swiss cheese wazzle?

Yes, please
No, thank you
First we must glean it from the neighbors’s porpoise
Wazzle um wacka nacka dirrrrum


27. You have answered the questions on this form:

incorrectly
incorrectly
incorrectly
incorrectly
all of the above





	Thank you for filling out this completely useless form. The fact that you have completed
this proves how much time you have wasted that you could’ve used to make this world a better
place. All this means is that you have absolutely no life. Thank you and have a pleasant day.