POOP POOP AND MORE POOP
THERE ARE TWO ZACS craZgal HAS HER OWN
PERSONAL
ZAC LIVING IN HER HOUSE (FEEL GOOSEBUMPS
HERE- DON’T WE ALL PITY HER? EXCEPT FOR
THE CHICK WHO’S OBSESSED WITH “ZACCY”:]
GUESS WHAT THE LITTLE DUDE IN THE GREEN
SHIRT WANTS TO MARRY HIS MOM ISN’T HE A
PSYCHO FREAK?
I MEAN REALLY freak ANYWAY.......
WE LIVE IN HICKVILLE!!!!!!!! I’M SCREAMING.
THAT’S BETTER ANYWAY I GET HICCUPS. DO
YOU, WEIRD HACKER PERSON? SO DO YOU LIKE
OPIUM? I LIKE THE DILLARD’S OPIUM. WHO
ARE THE TWO SMOKING DUDES WHO SIT AROUND
ON BIKE RACKS AND WATCH US PARADE AROUND
THE DOORS? THEY’RE WEIRD. BUT WHO AM I TO
TALK? SO.... I DON’T LIKE SAUSAGE OR
CHICKEN. NO I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN BUT I
DON’T LIKE JELLO EITHER. SHE’S ANNOYING AND
FAT AND UGLY AND SHE THINKS SHE’S A CRIPP
AND SHE SMELLS RAGS. BLUE RAGS. LIKE SHE
THINKS THEY SMELL LIKE HER COUSIN’S BUTT.
BY THE WAY, SHE LIVES IN KENTUCKY. IF THAT
EXPLAINS ANYTHING.
WE LIKE 257 BANDS. THEY’RE COOL BUT NOT
BACKSTREET BOYS CAUSE THEY’RE FAGS
ESPECIALLY THAT WEIRD DUDE WHO HAS LIKE
20 EARRINGS. HE SINGS IN A REALLY HIGH
VOICE, HAVE YOU NOTICED?
SOMEONE OUT THERE, I THINK HER NAME IS
LULU, IS REALLY OBSESSED WITH ZAC HANSON. I
THINK I MENTIONED THAT- ANYWAY, SHE CALLS
HIM ZACCY. I THINK THAT’S KINDA SCARY.
SHE ALSO KNOWS ALL ABOUT HIS MOUTH. AND
IKE’S NIPPLES. AND TAY’S...UH NEVER MIND.
@S-}--}--- I CAN’T REALLY THINK OF A NICE WAY TO
PUT IT, SO USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
MY MOMMY IS REALLY BOSSY BUT SHE’S GONNA
BUY ME A CAR I THINK SO I’LL SHUT UP.
FOR MY B-DAY I THINK MY PARENTS ARE
SENDING ME TO WISCONSIN SO I’M FINALLY
GETTING OUT OF THIS DAMN HICKTOWN AND
YOU’RE NOT HEHE craZgal! ACTUALLY I DON’T
THINK I AM NOT IN THE HABIT OF WASTING TIME
THINKING.
FEEL FREE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ:
1 ARE YOU INTIMIDATED BY FLOWERS?
2 DO YOU HAVE TOENAILS?
3 DO YOU HAVE A FRIEND NAMED DEREK,
KELLY, OR ASHLEY? BILL AND BOB ARE OUR
FRIENDS.
4 DO YOU PREFER PINK OR GREEN?
5 DO YOU HAVE UNNEUTRAL HAIR? craZgal
DOES.
6 DO YOU WEAR PLASTIC PANTS? IF SO,
CONTACT
craZgal. SHE LIKES GUYS IN PLASTIC
PANTS. IF
YOU ARE A GIRL, CONTACT KELLY KISH. DO
NOT
TALK TO ANYONE NAMED MILES.
7 DO YOU HAVE IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS
WITH BROCCOLI?
8 DOES ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY EAT COW
TONGUE?
9 DO YOU BELIEVE IN MR. HANKY?
10 DO YOU HAVE A LIFE? (IF YOU MADE IT THIS
FAR IN THE QUIZ, THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY
NO.)
THANK YOU FOR TAKING OUR LOVELY
QUESTIONNAIRE
AND MAKING A COMPLETE IDIOT OF YOURSELF.
WE ENJOYED IT. DID YOU? NEVERMIND.
HOW COME GIRLS BABBLE AND GUYS DON’T?
DO YOU THINK I’M A GIRL OR A GUY? AM I
BABBLING. MY PARENTS SAY I BABBLE. I
CAN’T POSSIBLY IMAGINE WHY. CAN YOU? NO
OF COURSE NOT. BACK TO THE ORIGINAL
QUESTION. TO ALL GUYS OUT THERE: WHY DON’T
YOU TALK, DAMMIT? I JUST NOW REALIZED THE
STUPIDITY OF EXPECTING YOU TO ANSWER SUCH
A QUESTION. why don’t you talk, GET IT? GET IT?
DO YOU LIKE TO VISIT DILLONS? I DO. I LIKE TO
MIX UP ALL THE LITTLE CANDY CONTAINERS.
THAT GIVES THE PEOPLE THERE SOMETHING TO
DO. SO IF IT WEREN’T FOR ME, A LOT OF PEOPLE
WOULDN’T HAVE JOBS ARRANGING CANDY
DISPLAYS, WOULD THEY? NO.
BUT I ALSO ENJOY MIXING UP THE ITEMS AT THE
SALAD
BAR BECAUSE-aauugggggghhhh! there’s a drop of
nail polish
on my finger!- BECAUSE THE PEOPLE THERE GET
PISSED AND KICK ME OUT OF THE STORE. IT’S A
REALLY GOOD WAY TO GET ATTENTION.
EVERYBODY STARES AT ME. I THINK MAYBE IT
COULD BE BECAUSE I’M UP TO MY ELBOWS IN
HOLLANDAISE SAUCE, BUT I’M NOT SURE. THERE
IS USUALLY A FINE GUY IN THE GROCERY STORE
SOMEWHERE. THE TRICK IS TO DISLODGE
YOURSELF FROM THE CART WHERE YOUR
OVERPROTECTIVE MOTHER HAS STRAPPED YOU
INTO THE “LITTLE PART”, SNEAK AWAY WITHOUT
UPSETTING THE LUNCHMEAT DISPLAY, AND FIND
HIM. SOME PEOPLE WILL INEVITABLY STARE
WHEN YOU RUN THROUGH THE AISLES
SCREAMING “FINE GUY! FINE GUY! WEHRE ARE
YOU, I KNOW YOU’RE HERE SOMEWHERE! YOU
CAN’T HIDE FROM ME!” THEN YOU FIND HIM
BEHIND THE FEMININE HYGIENE DISPLAY. HOW
EMBARASSING. BUT BEFORE YOU CAN TALK TO
HIM CASUALLY, AS IF YOU HAVEN’T JUST CHASED
HIM THROUGH THE STORE, THE STORE OWNER
RESPONDS TO A CUSTOMER COMPLAINT AND HAS
YOU ESCORTED FROM THE STORE IN A
STRAIGHTJACKET.
I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
MORE LATER!
LUV ALWAYS, HIPPI
hello everybody it's me again. of course. okay.
some guys out there who actually have brains (no offense) one of you
needs to explain something to me. why do you eat so much? it's like
that commercial, you know? you eat and eat and eat and eat and
eat, and then say, well, let's eat some more. where does all that food
go? Spare me the literal explanation please.
so who of you, like me, have been kicked out of charter? they said i
was beyond help..... i don't blame them. btw, what exactly are the
point of commercials? no one watches them, save for those of you
who have absolutely no life whatsoever. not that you are a minority
or anything. but no one watches them, they change the channel.
now let's discuss some gossip flying around recently. i just spoke with
my sources, who wish to remain anonymous, and they've given me
some extrajuicy tidbits.
1) Jennifer Aniston's dog likes to lick the glass of her coffee table.
(Now let's all respect Fido's taste in furniture, all right? Even tho
we all know that chair legs taste much better.)
2) Ma$e's fave food, according to his pet gerbil, (yes of course I talk
to gerbils, doesn't everyone?) is- get this- zucchine! Zucchine?
I mean, come on. o-k....well, go get 'em, Bad Boy.
3) A neighbor of Benicio del Toro tells me that he likes to jog naked
at exactly 2;26 a.m. Mr. , uh, ms. friendly neighbor says that the
3-toed Libyan sloth he takes with him on a leash doesn't seem to
enjoy the walk as much as Senor del Toro.
more gossip later, fellow weirdos.
okay, for now i am gonna talk about a sensitive subject. Some
people enjoy quibbling endlessly about it, but I say, well i'm here and
the poor defenseless world should worry about where I'm going (pre-
ferably far, far away) before they wo;rry about where I came from...
(Mars?) The subject I'm talking about is EVOLUTION. See, some
people think we started out as some mossy fungus, then developed
into bacteria, then bugs, then bigger and bigger until we were apes.
Now that explains most guys' behavior as well as their eating habits,
but what about us sane (okay, well, comparatively) females? hmm.
Perhaps we descended from butterflies. (Speaking of which, did you
ever notice how the German language has really weird sounds in it?
Butterfly in Spanish is Marisposa, in French, Papillon, but in German,
it's Kliebermeschler. Hmm.) Nevermind.
Other people seem to think Adam was created by that cruel, joke-
playing dude who wears white robes. They named him god. They
think then that God realized he couldn't make one dude, Adam, and
still have a bunch of human puppets to entertain him forever, so he
took out one of Adam's ribs and made Eve. Adam asked God, "God,
why is she so beautiful?" God replied, "that is so you can love her."
Then Adam tried to talk to Eve. He said, "Would you like a pear?"
Eve replied, "Dammit! I told you to clean up that mess in the cave!
Do you always have to poop in that cave? It WAS my favorite cave!
Man men are thoughtless!"
Then Adam asked God, "God, why is she so stupid?" God replied,
"That is so she can love you."
Anyway. I think they both are wrong. I think we descended from
huge monsters. They all have four heads and 27 toes, 12 on one
foot, and 15 on the other. They liked to eat little cave men, no
relation to us, for breakfast & lunch, but for dinner they ate giant
versions of today's chicken. Except they were so crude they ate
them with the feathers on. ( I think feathers would taste nasty, don't
you? Not that I've ever eaten feathers, though, but maybe I
remember the taste from a previous life.)
dammit, I'm done talkoing about evolution. it's a pointless subject.
Speaking of pointless, what is the point of dentist visits? I mean,
really. Eventually, our teeth will fall out anyway, just like that old lady
from TITANIC. Did you know that centuries ago, Indians, when
choosing a wife, considered the most important factor to be a strong
set of teeth, even if they had turned yellow and had huge holes in
them? Anyway.
Okay. My brother, nicknamed Rocco, is obsessed with a sport called
professional wrestling. Any of you guys out there feel free to explain
to me anything about wrestling you miraculously understand. For
example, that Raven dude? Come on. I mean, don't get me wrong,
I have nothing against blond-frosted, spiral permed afros, but the guy
wears like 5 chokers. The scary thing is, two of them are ones that I
would wear! (At this point, if you haven't figured it out already, it might
be vital to explain that i am a girl.) The dude throws tantrums that rival
those of my sister- WHO IS THREE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
And, where do the dudes find the energy to grimace and fall-
carefully- over the ropes from a punch that misses them by at least
two feet? Someone please explain that to me.
Those of you who have ridden on a plane. Hmm. The food? "No,
thank you, Ms. Flight Attendant, I'll just starve to death and save
myself the aftertaste of dirty socks. It's bad enough that I'm gonna
burn in hell, but with an aftertaste? I don't think so."
Is anyone out there crazy enough to support a cat besides me?
Notice I said support, not own. When you own a dog, you own a
dog, but when you think you own a cat, it's usually the other way
around. Anyway, cat's are terrified of water. Unless they find it
voluntarily. One minute, they'll have found the intelligence, and the
guts, to somehow fill the sink, plug the drain (if nothing metal can be
found, a hairball will suffice) and are gleefully splashing around with
the prettly little tips of their paws, so daintily you want to hurl. Then,
when you decide it's bath time, they'll scratch, claw, hiss, and do that
nasty throaty meow that makes your stomach turn upside down.
and like when they do something they know they're not supposed to
do, like for example giving themselves a bath on the kitchen table,
they have two strategies to get out of it: if they've never done it
before (or never been caught, anyway,) they'll fluff up their fur and
put on this cute, dainty little face, forcing away all thoughts of
punishment. Once you forgive them, they then resume their "I-know-
you're- in-the-room-but-I-don't-care" face and present to you their
lovely furry backs. The other strategy is for hard criminals. They
blink at you as if you're SO stupid, like they're saying "Of course I
was just getting down off the china cabinet, you nincompoop!" And
slowly
get off, dribbling down the smooth front so gracefully you-again- want
to hurl. And by the way, have you ever noticed how they take a bath
at the most INappropriate times and places? Like when your boy-
friend, the one with the blue hair and nose ring, comes over and you
want him to make a good impression on your dad, who would normally
shoot him if you hadn't rambled on about how sweet and nice and
sickeningly considerate he was, and your indifferent cat plants himself
in the very center of the living room floor, twists himself into an
impossible position, and begins to wash his......
Well, more later!
Luv always,
Hippi
HEY I’M BACK AGAIN YALLS. I SPENT THE NITE AT CRAZGAL’S AND I GOT NO SLEEP WHATSOEVER. SO I WILL BE INJURED IN MY UH PLANS TODAY. THIS WILL BE MY LAST HIPPICRAP UPDATE FOR A WHILE. OTAY. CAN SOMEONE TELL ME THE POINT- I MEAN, UH, NOT THE POINT, THAT’S AN INSIDE JOKE, KINDA NASTY BUT NOT OUR FAULTS IF THERE’S A GUY NAMED MAT OUT THERE WITH A SICK MIND IT IS COMPLETELY YOUR FAULT! YOU HAVE PERMANENTLY CONTAMINATED OUR MINDS!!!!! ANYWAY, CAN SOMEONE.... UH, EXPLAIN TO ME THE, UH, REASON BEHIND TRIPS TO THE MALL? I’M NOT ONE WITH ROOM TO BE TALKIN I WAS JUST THERE YESTERDAY. (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE INTERESTED, I BOUGHT TWO SHIRTS, TWO NAIL POLISHES- clue as to my gender again- AND A SEVENTEEN MAZAGINE. THAT MAZAGINE ROX.) ANYWAY THE TRADITIONAL MALL TRIP FOR TEENS IS A PHENOMENON. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WHERE ELSE CAN YOU MEET GUYS, ALTHOUGH I WILL WARN YOU THEY’RE SOMETIMES HORNY, BUY CLOTHES TO SCARE THE MOST PROMINENTLY ANNOYING PERSON IN YOUR LIFE (SOMETIMES PARENT, SOMETIMES NOT- TRUST ME ON THIS ONE) HAVE LUNCH (NO SAUSAGE PIZZA AT SBARRO’S) AND WASTE QUARTERS IN AN ARCADE. PERSONALLY, CRAZGAL AND I KNOW A LOT OF THE PEOPLE WHO WORK AT OUR MALL. IT’S KINDA PATHETIC, REALLY. BUT HEY, AT LEAST WHEN WE NEED TO USE A PHONE WE HAVE SEVERAL CANDIDATES. THERE’S THE MONEY DUDE, THE SHOE DUDE, THE ALARM DUDE, MANAGER DUDE, ALL THE SBARRO’S PEOPLE WHO INCLUDE THE AJ/TJ DUDE, THE LEVI DUDE, THE MANAGER DUDE, AND CASEY. AND SAUSAGE BOY. (DON’T ASK-TRUST ME YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW!) THEY THROW PIZZA DOUGH. ANYWAY, ONLY AT THE MALL WOULD SOMEONE HAVE THE BOLDNESS TO WINK AT A GUY WHO’S SHOWN INTEREST IN THEM. BUT, THEN OF COURSE, THERE’S NO WAY SHE’D HAVE THAT BOLDNESS IF SHE’S WITH PARENTS. AND I HOPE ITS A SHE. IF NOT, I’M SCARED. FURTHERMORE, SHOPPING GIVES ME THE BEST, “WARM FUZZY” (SOME PEOPLE OUT THERE WILL GET THAT LITTLE JOKE) FEELING IN THE WORLD. I’M SENDING A BIG HEARTY “HALLOO” TO RED NEPTUNE AND T-MEK. DON’T CATCH MY TONGUE! DON’T CATCH MY TONGUE! PLEASE!!!! ANYWAY. ____UPDATE:THE KILLER MOSQUITO HAS AGREED TO A TRUCE WITH US, BUT THE MINUTE WE TRY TO WARN ANYONE ELSE OF HIS PRES- ENCE, HE WILL MURDER US. AND T-MEK, THE NEAREST MACDONALD’S IS TEMPORARILY CLOSED. THE ONE THAT’S REALLY FAR AWAY, OF COURSE, IS STILL OPEN.____________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________ ANYWAY. ARE YOU HUMAN BEINGS, DAMMIT? NOW, AS ALL OF YOU NOW KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I LOOK LIKE, SINCE BY SOME MISTAKE YOU ENDED UP READING HIPPICRAP WHICH IS TOTALLY POINTLESS WHILE DISSECTING OTHER TOTALLY POINTLESS THINGS, do not tell your friends. I DON’T WANT PEOPLE LOOKING AT MY PICTURE, BECAUSE SOMEONE FROM HERE IN HICKVILLE WHERE I LIVE COULD EASILY RECOGNIZE ME. AND IF FOR SOME ODD REASON-----OMIGOD I SOUND LIKE MY HEALTH TEACHER!!!!------- craZgal HAS DECIDED TO TELL YOU MY REAL NAME, THEN YOU SHOULD JUST IGNORE IT BECAUSE SHE’S PROBABLY BABBLING AGAIN. JUST WHEN I’M TRYING TO ASK HER AN IMPORTANT QUESTION, SHE CHANGES THE SUBJECT BY BABBLING INCESSANTLY ABOUT THINGS IN HER ROOM THAT ARE BLACK. REALLY BIZARRE, HUH? NOW, IN A FEW MINUTES, WE ARE GOING TO WAL-MART. THE REASON FOR THAT? I DUNNO. NOW SOMETHING HERE HAS REALLY PISSED ME OFF. MY LITTLE BRO, THE PSYCHO (GEE, I WONDER WHERE HE GOT IT) HAD THREE LITTLE ELEVEN YEAR OLD DUDES OVER TO MY HOUSE. SO I HAD TO EVACUATE THE PREMISES. THEY WATCH WRESTLING. NOW NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE WHO WATCHES IT, BUT THAT IS ONE OF THE MAJOR SPORTS I REALLY DO NOT GET. SOMEONE -please- EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!! -oh, brb--
halloo!!!!!! anyway, it's hippi again who else? now what is up with CERTAIN PEOPLE DISAPPEARING FOR A LONG TIME???? ahem, ahem. now we have this retarded little quiz, like 750+ questions and it makes no sense at all but that's okay. we need lives. you know that already. agh, the pizza rolls are hot!! what subject was i on last time when i left? oh yes, wrestling. well, i'm not dissing anyone who watches it, but it really bugs me. see, there's these big muscly dudes who are either on steroids OR work out all the time obsessively. they wear thesse tight-ass clothes that are WAY TOO REVEALING if you know what i mean! And it's (most of it anyway) -hello- fake as hell! picture this: some big muscly guy in tight clothes punches this other big muscly guy in tight clothes and of course either their heads are shaved or they have long hair -not that way- swings another punch, misses completely, and the other punched dude is like, Whoa, gee, this really hurts! I think i'm gonna fall over this little stretchy rope-thing, but i better be really careful about it!!!!!! oh, sure, when they get thrown on the ground, or floor, or whatever that little ring is made out of it probably hurts a little, but they have their layers of muscle or implants, whichever, to cushion them!!! And they all have the stupidest egos i've ever seen, personally, unless you also happen to know some of the guys who go to our school. in that case, they're about even. i'm getting tired of this subject. i think i'll babble about something else for a while now NO NO, KHASMEN, WE WERE JUST TRYING TO BUY SOME GAS! perhaps i'll explain that to you someday.... if i don't go insane first... wait, something's wrong with that statement.... can you figure it out? last nite we went to a high school football game. it sucked. last week's was much better cuz we're south and we played central our city rivals. and we kicked their asses for the first time in seven years they sucked. 30-7!!!!!! how pathetic is that? we got to run the field, took forever, then like a million football players most of whom were half-naked and hi-fiving * agh!* everybody . finally, we took down some green and gold streamers, tied them all over ourselves and walked around, all the way across some big street to dave's conoco where some cool dude (who, this week, was walking around dressed like a clown) let us use the phone and raychl spent the nite at my place and we went insane and scared my poor little wrestliing- and-food-obsessed brother out of his ever-lovin' mind..... brb WELL HERE IT IS TWO WEEKS LATER. PERHAPS I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID BRB. OH WELL WE CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST BUT WE CAN READ IT IN EYES!! NEVERMIND. LONG- UH, COMPLICATED STORY. EVERYONE CONGRATULATE ME. I HAVE FIGURED OUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN... UH, THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DIFFERENCE ANYWAY. SEE, WOMEN WANT TO BE TREATED TO A ROMANTIC DINNER AT A GOURMET RESTAURANT. MEN WANT TO EAT OUT, BUT THEY DON’T WANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE. RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU GET IT. NEVERMIND. THAT WAS VERY NASTY. I WAS REALLY TIRED TODAY. THE BAD THING ABOUT THAT IS THAT EVERYTHING- AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING- IS REALLY FUNNY. AS IN, SO FUNNY THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT STOP LAUGHING. LIKE ME. I KNOW THIS FIRSTHAND..... UH, BY EXPERIENCE.... DAMMIT! I CAN’T SAY ANYTHING THAT ISN’T SICK!!!! IT’S GOD’S FAULT. SEE HERE’S SOMETHING BAD. WHEN YOU GET REALLY TIRED, YOU ALSO TEND TO GET CARRIED AWAY WITH THINGS. FOR EXAMPLE, UM, HOW CAN I PUT THIS... KILLING STRATEGIES. AHEM. ONE NITE AT LIKE 4:30, WE WERE SITTING UP TALKING ABOUT WHAT WOULD MAKE US KILL SOMEONE, HOW WE WOULD KILL THEM, AND HOW TO DISPOSE OF THE BODY. THEN, WE GOT TO TALKING ABOUT SOME CERTAIN PEOPLE, I WON’T SAY NAMES.... AHEM, COUGH COUGH, AHEM, mr.t, red, AHEM, AHEM, COUGH.... ANYWAY, WE WERE DISCUSSING HOW TO PUNISH THEM IF THEY SAID WHAT ANOTHER GUY SAID TO ME... I’LL EXPLAIN THAT LATER, AND AS A WARNING, IF ANY OF YOU SAY THAT TO A CHICK, SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DO THIS TO YOU, TOO..... ANYWAY, WE’D BEGIN BY SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY REMOVING THEIR EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES. WE’D THEN SLIDE SPLINTERS UNDER THEIR FINGER- AND TOENAILS, PULL OFF THE NAILS, AND DRENCH THEM WITH SALTED ALCOHOL. (ARE WE SATANIC OR WHAT? IF YES, YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET... AND YOU WON’T CAUSE THIS IS A COMPUTER, NOT A PHONE SEX LINE- SORRY RED NEPTUNE AND T-MEK) ANYWAY, THIS GOES ON FOR QUITE A WHILE, UNTIL THEY END UP AS ARMLESS, LEGLESS, EYELASHLESS, EYEBROWLESS, TOOTHLESS, TONGUELESS, LIPLESS, HAIRLESS, BELLYBUTTONLESS(JUST BECAUSE), MISERABLE CREATURES WRAPPED IN RAGGEDY BLANKETS PUT IN A CIRCULAR PADDED ROOM ROLLING HELPLESSLY AROUND WITH COMPUTER, TVs, NINTENDOS ON THE WALL AND OF COURSE A PHONE FOR HELP... ALL OUT OF THEIR REACH. WE WOULD HAVE OBSERVATION WINDOWS AT THE TOP AND A LITTLE PLATFORM WHERE WE COULD WALK OUT AND SEE THEM AND TAUNT THEM. OKAY, I’M DONE. ARE YOU SCARED YET? THE REASON WE WOULD HAVE TO DO THIS... OH, MY. THIS GUY I MET WAS REALLY COOL FOR LIKE TWO DAYS, BUT HE WENT TO A DIFFERENT SCHOOL AND I DIDN’T SEE HIM OR ANYTHING FOR LIKE TEN MONTHS, THEN A FRIEND CALLED UP AND SAID SHE KNEW HIM AND HE WANTED TO HOOK UP WITH ME, AND I SAID MAYBE, AND SHE KEPT SAYING THAT AND GAVE HIM MY #, BUT HE DIDN’T CALL. THEN SHE WENT TO A PARTY AND HE WAS THERE AND HE SAID THAT SURE HE’D HOOK UP WITH ME IF I’D GIVE HIM A “PIECE OF ASS” bbbbbbaaaaaaaarrrrrrrffffffffff!!!!! retching! yuk! i feel ill!! omigod!!! i want to die.... need to take a shower.... nasty nasty nasty!!! THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE..... I FORGOT... WELL, NOTHING ELSE FOR NOW. BRB.. EVENTUALLY. LUV AND PEACE TO ALL, HIPPIshe babbles (12/23) Well, here i am again. i’m not screaming anymore.. raychl is blowing her hand, but don’t worry, she’s using protection. wow- prettypretty song! well yalls i gottsta tell you. fat free crackers are pretty good. and Red, whom i may or may not have mentioned, and his buddies Kenny the Captin Ridiculous Dustin Justin Crustin Nature Jenny Kenny formerly known as the Ballerina and his other buddies Tea-and-Crumpets Dude and CK Pose Dude and -wait was Old Neighbor Jim there? i don’t know- went to *gulp* WRESTLING!!! dammit. and haha, craZgal had to watch the whole thing for their sign. they were gonna make a kewl one that said- whoa raychl is holding the antenna, don’t grab too hard, raychl, they’re very sensitive- that said “Captain Ridiculous and Fat Free Crackers” but instead they made a stupid horny one that said We Want Head but we can’t really blame them cuz with all the half-naked whores and the big muscly dudes in spandex underwear, i guess they really have no choice except to be horny. anyway. i babbled. do you play the bells? anyway, (do i say that too much) but as for you and grandpa, do you believe?I give up. 12/28 otay. i’m back. yes, it’s two weeks (more or less) later. i’m wearing black lipstick -eyeliner really- andd it scared craZgal’s mother. omigod that newt dude is ‘wierd’. (hello red) i think mr t is mad at me. probably because we called him kenny the ballerina . no offense mr t. really it has nothing to do with him.. see we recieved a picture with um 4 teenage guys in it and one old neighbor jim. we decided the old neighbor jim looked like an old neighbor jim, probably because he is an old neighbor jim. but we looked at the four teenage guys. and since i couldn’t ever remember their names, no matter how many times craZgal told me, i decided to figure out what names they looked like. see this was difficult. i have an exuse, though, the name book was MIA. (ah! POW/MIA! nevermind...) see we decided mr t looked like a kenny. no not kenny on south park, a different kenny, slouchy kenny. then we got to describing theway slouchy kenny walks, and we decided he walks like a ballerina on crack. then, since mr t looks like a kenny, and kenny is a ballerina, mr t is now a ballerina. anyway. oh does anyone out there acknowledge that guys have a guy smell? i was wearing my buddy yo’s coat one day and it was like 8 sizes too big and it like covered my neck. and every so often i had to take the coat partially off and inhale because the guy smell got overpowering. then i had to explain to chicken the concept of a guy smell, and since he is so preoccupied with the dildo up his ass he didn’t really understand. so after class i had to try to explain it to yo. then yo didn’t get it so i enlisted my buddy cleve’s help. but cleve didn’t understand because incidentally, my buddy cleve is also a guy. so i had to try to explain it to both of them, and now they think i’m crazy. just for the record, it is not a bad smell, it’s just a guy smell. guys can’t help that they smell like guys, and i hope they wouldn’t want to. in fact, if i talk to a guy, i hope he smells like a guy considering the alternative. ahem. can we say gary? anyway my hands are tired (yank yank) so i’ll be back later 2nite. peace, love, good sex, and great pot, hippi otay i’m back people.. it’s about 2 or 3 hours later, i can’t tell, i can’t read time... wait um okay... system loading, trying to think, it’s not working. guess what the fruit cummed all over the floor! it’s sticky! then we threw a flaccid apple against the wall and it reincarnated as a tennis ball! and our orange peed on the frisbee. anyway now that we’ve confused you utterly, let’s get down. to business, i mean. ahem, shut up craZgal. do you have a little playmate by your chair? hey, that’s a question. you should take our toenail quiz. it’s really very cool. and it’s also very confusing and it makes no sense because you have to be there otherwise you won’t get most of the questions... hehe, i don’t get little kids. they’re too poor..j/k oh yes, i want you people to email me at hippichic27@yahoo.com and babble right back at me. see i don’t really think its fair, me getting to babble at you but you don’t get to vent your frustrations.... um, i mean babble at me. see we want equality, don’t we? everyone should be treated well, with the exception of a few notable people, including: Listener Dude, for ruining my elementary-school life Tipper Gore, for putting those fucking parental advisory labels on CDs Bill Clinton, for being heinous in general Marvin Gaye, for a certain song (HELLO, RED NEPTUNE, HOW IS YOUR LIFE?) and Officer Emmot, for making us stop wearing the 35 on our hands oh, yes, and God, for making me be born in 1984 and not in 1951. see then i would have been 18 the year Woodstock was there. and i would have been old enough to know better but still too young to care. and, i would have been old enough to go without my parents stopping me, and still young enough to fuck all the hottest guys. oh which reminds me, me and craZgal have a long-running disagreement about fuck policies, WKs, and guys in general. i’ll let her explain it to you. Submitted for the approval of the Psycho Society, i present to you, craZgal: my name isn’t capalized. anyway. wait I hafta wipe the dotty-colors from the screen. 1000 calorie diet! neverming. now, she wants me to explain this *lengthy* argument we’ve been having about her inability to reserve her favours from her preference of hot guys. Some may not have a problem with this. I, however, do. Not with HER doing this, but with her idea that everyone should have her uh *pleasure tendencies*. If everyone had her little habit, as some may call it, the entire lifespan of a normal human being would be one enormous orgy-fest. Which she would have no -wait she’s lecturing me- problem with. I don’t understand what she’s talking about, so she wants me to put it in my own words. This is her quote- “I would rather have a fuck partner than a boyfriend”. Some people may not have a problem with this (mostly guys, I’m guessing). Some might. It all depends on people’s opinions. She thinks that if your boy/girlfriend isn’t there to ‘check up on you’, you should fool around with other people. That’s a problem for me. Not for her. Because she has no boyfriend checking up on her, by choice, mind you. I, on the other hand, don’t think they are there to ‘check up on you’. If you really like the person, you wouldn’t flaunt yourself around to others. She thinks that since a *certain someone* isn’t here right now, I should “have fun”. Her idea of fun isn’t mine. Her idea of fun is, and I will try to uh cram this in a nutshell (pardon the pun) having a guy for whatever her reason, whenever she likes. This isn’t a problem, for her. Other people just would not do this. Because we are not all like hippi. Now, I know as soon as I post this, there is someone out there who has already yelled at her about this particular subject, and I will say it now, JUST LET IT GO. I tried for two hours to get her to see another *point of view*, but she won’t. I give up. It’s no use, we will never get her to stop the WK business. Now, back to hippi. She is reading little cards and watching a football game. Well, maybe not watching it, but it’s playing on tv. ick. otay, here she is to babble some more: halloo, again, friends and family! wait, i really hope that none of my family is reading this. if they are, IT’S NOT ME, PEOPLE! NOT HIPPI! IT’S A HIPPI-IMPERSONATER! anyway, back to the subject at hand i mean the present subject I MEAN WHAT CRAZGAL WAS TALKING ABOUT DAMMIT! hehe, now i’m frustrated. hehe, be right back, i’m gonna run down the street, chainsaw might be there kidding kidding don’t get yourself all worked up about it. :) anyway as i was saying, there’s nothing wrong with being like katie if you want to, craZgal. inside joke. surprise, surprise. ah, now she’s gone i can type anything i want to.. SHE’S OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE! AH I CAN’T TELL WHO BUT SOMEONE OUT THERE KNOWS WHO I’M TALKING ABOUT AND IT’S THE SAME PERSON THAT LECTURED ME ABOUT MY WKs! AND IT’S BEEN LIKE 5 MONTHS AND SHE REFUSES TO EVEN CONSIDER LOOKING ELSEWHERE! what i mean is, who knows what she could be missing? a hot guy, a brief fling, you get the picture. now as soon as she gets out here she’s gonna make me erase this and i’ll have to. but she has to stay with him for awhile now because he gave her a 10k bracelet and i laughed at her because she’s tied down for a while now! haha, she can’t run around and have fun. she’s restricted. haha. this idea is funny to me, but i kind of pity those like her- but not katie i would never pity katie she disgusts me and it’s nasty and thinking of her i want to puke, i’m gonna go purge into the porcelain, BRB- okay i’m back. see people shouldn’t dis my um uh weekend activites until they’ve tried it. let me see if i can explain this. variety is the spice of life, so why stick with one guy? where’s the fun in that? and i don’t fuck them. see he and i both understand that i don’t want a relationship and i make sure that they don’t either. see relationships are a pain in the ass. they take work, and there’s no fun sitting down and having ‘the talk’ about where the relationship is going when you could be umm... nevermind. well, you get the poi- picture. yes picture. see i’d be happy to finish explaining this but i’m tired of the subject so i’ll move on and finish later. anyone who wants to can email me (see above address) and add their thoughts to the subject. i would be glad to add them to hippicrap- as long as they agree.. no, i’m kidding. i will put up people’s opinions that aren’t the same as mine, because i know that some people will disagree with me but they shoudn’t disagree until they’ve at least tried it. see i explained this to someone else and he said i was just being pessimistic and he guessed that i’ve been ‘fucked over’ a lot. well no comment. anyway new subject. what to babble about? i personally think that amusement parks are fun. i mean really. guys in wet t-shirts running around. of course, they will be in other towns because there is nothing, repeat, NOTHING, fun here. and they will be in other towns so if i meet a guy i won’t have to worry about running into him again. the ideal situation. a day of fun, without worrying about the consequences. now wait that sounds like a condom ad. but seriously. well craZgal’s dad is in the room so i’ll be back in a while. bye, hippi otay it’s tomorrow now. wait, that makes no sense. it’s the day after yesterday. dammit. you know what i mean. guess what we went to bed at five and woke up at ummmm like 1. and dammit that’s only like 7 or 8 hours of sleep. well now i have news for you. craZgal is obsessed, repeat, OBSESSED with this movie that’s gonna be out. it’s called You’ve Got Mail, and gee, could anyone guess why she wants to see that? hmm, let’s see, ahem. COUGH, COUGH, AHEM, red neptune, COUGH AHEM COUGH COUGH. okay no craZgal you can’t i don’t like you like that. for all of you who are worried now she is babbling. don’t deny it stupid you are! you BABBLE! Do you trust those baby blues to lens express? okay, anyway, what’s popping in your mouth? Red don’t answer, please we don’t want to know well craZgal probably knows from firsthand experience :P so people i really don’t have much to babble about i’m very very tired now. oh if anyone reads this who is a complete metalhead, not that way Red, there’s this kick-ass band Steeltoe who kicks ass- did i say that already?- anyway they’re really good and you should email them at steeltoe55@hotmail.com to request a CD cuz they kick ass. now people i will sign off for what will probably be quite a while have a brutal day, hippi